Dipesh Majumdar

Blog and Paintings

A brief account of my personal journey, the narrow escapes, the ups and downs...

Every adversity has within it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit - if only you have the right attitude.

My life has been a struggle - when I was born - I had asthma. It was struggle to breathe - I kept wide awake in nights...dragging in, forcing out - air through the constricted wind pipe - once someone wished I was dead, so i would be relieved of the pain. My mother had revolted against that remark... very strongly. With her blessings I continued to breathe... on and on... learning all along the way - the best way to survive - there is no other alternative.

I have managed to survive some dreadful situations in life - in many phases - a compilation of all of that is beyond the scope of this blog... but I will try to jot down the important ones as my memory recalls.  I sometimes feel sorry for being careless. I think I was a fool then... though acts of foolishness doesn't stop now as well... life is a continuous journey... we learn, we forget we relearn... somewhere down the line, I realized that making a mistake is perfectly okay, but repeating that same mistake is something that should be avoided. Sometimes we will still repeat - but shouldn't be done a third time... the same blunder, at any cost.

I had topped class XII - and with the marks I could have got a very good seat in the best college for +3 with physics honors. However, i decided against it, as I aspired for engineering. I didn't succeed in engineering entrance examination. I was left stranded... and hoped to clear engineering in the next year. At that time I was so inconsistent in my efforts... I would study with a lot of passion in the initial part of the year... but my enthusiasm would gradually decrease. 

It was the second year now, and i had no clue what destiny had in store for me... it would be safe then to grab a seat for +3 physics honors - so that just in case I failed to get an engineering seat, i could at least be safe, but alas....  I didn't apply for +3 phy honours. I thought I would get engineering seat somehow. To make matters worse my engineering rank was bad. Somehow I managed to get an engineering seat through some stroke of luck. As I write this I can understand - had I not got that seat - it would have been a terrible situation for me. You see I somehow managed to survive.

For me there were no back papers in engineering... in a few subjects I survived by 1 or 2 marks. When I sat for the campus interviews - the cutoff mark was 65 - and I had 64.6%. I barely qualified. I still remember - and I got through... succeeded interview and GD. A narrow escape again.

When I came out of engineering college - I was supposed to join the software company which I got through in campus interview, but there was a software down slide in this period causing the offer-letter to be cancelled. Oh God, why me? I was depressed and sad. Fortunately the pain was not so intense as none had got the job.

While all my friends were sulking sitting at home - I was toiling hard, preparing for GATE in Jia Sarai, near IIT Delhi Campus. Got through BSNL. None of my friend had a job then... but I had one during this time! Again an upward curve. I felt proud. Lucky.

I was appointed as JTO in a village - and during this time the software industry revived and all my friends joined software jobs and started orkuting from onsite locations. While I was sitting and sulking in a remote village now. There was a dramatic twist in fortune and I was so sad. I wanted to spread wings, fly high but I couldn't. I was trapped in a public sector job - where it seemed there was no scope for me to grow. I succumbed to mental depression. It was a downward curve again... 

You know what - some birds are destined to fly high... no one can keep them shackled. I was one of those birds... Back them in the isolation of my untidy room - i wrote in my diary - i will fly one day... I will break the shackles. I still remember. 

I tried, tried, tried, harder and harder - even harder to get a software job now. And alas - I was getting rejected in one after another interviews I appeared. The will was strong but the waves of depressions I went through were violent and debilitating. I should have got into an Indian company - which was easier - but I got through Oracle India, much to the surprise of many of my friends. It was again a fabulous upward curve. My salary was double than the JTO salary then. I was ecstatic. LIfe in Bangalore was so relishing.

Then came another downward curve, and then another upward ...

These keep coming even to this day as I write this.


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