Dipesh Majumdar

Blog and Paintings

Kick the butt

Last year, one of my top aims was to quit smoking. I had been trying this for quite a long time but every time I would end up breaking my promise. It led me to believe that quitting smoking is not for me… what started off as a frivolous and fun-filled act…slowly entangled me in a way that I was finding hard to escape.

When I blew smoke into the air with my lips circled and my face tightening into a typical smoker’s expression, I would feel my manhood rise to the fore. This inflated my ego… made me more virile and I thought I got the kick until…

A friend pointed out, “You are not taking it inside your LUNGS! You fool! You are missing the whole fun!” My inflated ego imploded. I cringed and listened as he demonstrated the process of taking smokes inside the lungs. He continued, “You have to suck in those nicotine-filled smoke inside your belly and after that when you exhale them through your nostrils the smoke will be colorless, bereft of the nicotine.” I followed his instructions, coughed a few times and then within no time became a pro-smoker! “Welcome to the gang,” he erupted with enormous happiness. But my happiness was going to be screwed soon and which I didn't realize then. Alas. :-(

In the initial days I smoked just like that – without any urge. Simply!

The next few days the urge of nicotine dictated the no. of sticks I would burn, though I would not go beyond 4 or 5 per day, maximum! Cigarette had caused some serious changes in my day to day life by then. My night sleep would linger into broad day light unless I had broken it with a smoke. That nicotine-kick would start my day with a bang. Then at some point in time I would fail to take a successful dump without a smoke. The toilet would not let go of burnt nicotine smell for the rest of the day!

In the meantime I was quick to realize the flip side of smoking and embarked upon some serious attempts to kick the butt. Sometimes I would go without a smoke for 1 - 2 months and then suddenly the urge of nicotine would gobble the better of me. And I would rue... give in... get laid and f***** by nicotine all
over again. This had frustrated me to the core. And then one fine day…

I took a staunch new-year resolution to permanently quit smoking on 1st January 2012. 

I was still not sure if I could do this. But then something magical happened as I went along this path of life without cigarettes... I could now count the exact number of days...months... that I was living without this bad habit... For example on mar 15... I knew it was 31+29+15=75 days. 75 whopping days!! And this would give me a kick... A kick more intense than the kick we get after smoking. And this kick would be powerful enough to prevent my mind from giving in to the old habit.

And so I felt proud of these 75 days. And didn't want to let it go... 75 I was greedy to make 76 ... and 76 I was greedy to make 77 and so forth. But the road was not easy. The horrific nicotine-craving demons would return in my head but the pleasure I got each time by not having smoked for so many days on the trot would overcome it. Each passing day without nicotine made me stronger and I managed to live fag-less for eleven months (On 1.1.2013 I will complete one year). Amazing. I feel proud.

And proud you must feel. Greedy you must be... to live one more day without that cancer stick. Because the world outside is tough and to tackle it there has to be a bit of arrogance, pride and fierce determination within. Without this life will dominate us and bring us to our knees.

I urge all of you to start this experiment from 1.1.2013. Just give it a try. Start counting the number of days. See if it gives you the motivation to stay on course. Feel greedy to add one more day to your smokeless-day-account. Who knows 2013 can be a clean and smokeless year for you! A better world for you and the rest of us... No harm in giving it a try!

I have achieved it and so why can't you?

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