Dipesh Majumdar

Blog and Paintings

What is trust?

November 21, 2013

Trust is that element of a person's aspect which is unconditional and which is bestowed on you unconditionally though you haven't provided the proof that you are trustworthy. I understand I can't provide definition of a word using the word itself so i take the help of an example below.

You are expected to do a job; you approach the appropriate person and request for all authority and freedom to be given. You are given that freedom though that person has no proof that he should believe in you. But still he believes due to a gut feeling or something else. Now that person shows trust in you.

Not everyone shows trust like this on you. People who show trust like this on you are special. They empower us. They help us to prove ourselves. They give us the choice to opt for the right path.

What if the other person doesn't show trust in you? It's easy to fight. But a matured person seldom fights. Fighting and resisting won't take very far. That's why I like Krishna's role in Mahabharata. O' dear reader if you don't know the story of Mahabharata pleare go and read now and then again come back and read this blog. Mahabharata is a big story mind you - but it's worth the effort - because I consider it to be the best in the world. The author, the greatest in the world. I vouch for it.

So in Mahabharata, Krishna had employed deceit and cunning ways to outsmart his adversaries. Normally these would seem wrong and unjust methods - but these were actually right and the best possible means of tackling difficult situations in life. Coming back again to the person who doesn't trust you - you can't fight with him - because he is in a powerful position - but you can act smart.

You will have to employ some other means to promise him that you would achieve your target. You have to be like The Mahabharata Krishna, to some extent.  And then he should also be ready to succumb - or yield to your demands.

You are now confused to the core - because even I am to some extent. But let us make it straight here.

Ther will be situaitons, circumstances in your life - wherein you would feel like blasting at somebody and you dont care - but my friend, in those cases it is wiser not to behave in a reactive and sharp manner. It is advisable to keep your cool and act in a matured way. Plan for a move in a way that the snake dies and the stick with which you hit it doesn't break. Remember Krishna.

The person who doesn't show trust in you because he believes that you won't provide him the end in the desired time line; bargain with him the timeline and promise him of the desired output. And then slog hard to achieve the output. Show him the result and you are bound to win back his trust.

Go Back

That's why it's an edge to have a better-than-basic knowledge about human psychology/behavior.

Human beings are at best irrational beings and at worst plain idiots. In an argument, if you find yourself right and the other person simply cannot see the plain logic behind your arguments, it's actually unwise to keep fighting with him on the basis of rationality.

The only way to make them see your point, and concur with it, is to change their worldview (which is obviously limited) to your well-informed worldview. This is easier said than done. It has to start with the basics. It usually with start with a topic that's not the topic of debate. But if you do it correctly, over the coming years (if you are fortunate), the other person will be on your side. You win. Hurray!

Clearly, you have to be reasonable with the odds of that happening in your life (Hint: It seldom does).

Although trust can be a huge advantage in winning an argument, I bet the major, "actually employable" tactic to win in a debate in real life, is an accurate intuition of whether the other person is rational or just bullshitting around.