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Dipesh Majumdar

Blog and Paintings

Self-created esteem

November 9, 2012

Today suddenly I remembered one of my friends with whom I haven't interacted for a long time now. I don't even know how I remembered him all of a sudden?

I have not even seen him in the last 2 years.

When I saw him first he appeared dark and disheveled... thick spectacles that struggled to conceal his morose eyes... one of those guys who is very short of confidence... a victim of low morale and low self-esteem. He used to complain against everything... office work, ill-natured boss, bad Bangalore climate, the sun the moon and what not? Sometimes it would be terrible to stand him. Then at times he used to rue over his appearance... his dark complexion and bald head and how he thought that lack of hair was a serious problem preventing him from getting married.

One fine day when I was walking down the lane near a cafe coffee day shop... suddenly I stumbled on him. And I was shocked. I saw that same guy .......

WITH A TOTALLY CHANGED APPEARANCE!!!

Gosh!!! Head full of hair. The bald head was replaced with shiny dense hair and that rendered such a difference to his countenance. I couldn't hide my shock and shouted at him, " What have you done to yourself!"

He laughed back at me and replied, "You can also get nice hair like this on your barren head!!!" I politely turned down his suggestion and conveyed that I was pretty happy with my bald head. "I would rather utilize that money in something useful, " I thought in my mind. I couldn't help but witness a strange disbelief in his face that expressed...how can one be happy and peaceful with a bald head?

Now as I pressed hard to know how it happened all of a sudden... he felt slightly embarrassed, not knowing how to express himself. He hesitated at first, then explained me everything. He had been to one of those hair weaving centers and got all those hair transplanted. The hair he wore was artificial!

Now everybody he met in our friend circle started teasing him. He felt bitter and seemed withdrawn. He looked sad.

One day I sat with him for a long time and told him, "You are good. You are nice. Why do you have to think you are bad? You were good without hair and you are good with them as well. There are many bald headed persons out there walking the earth with head held high and all possible prosperity and affluence you can ever imagine. It is your own self esteem (read self-created esteem) that is bad and that you need to change." He didn't appear to be motivated by my philosophy.

A few days later I came to know that he quit his job. He then disappeared from my life. No phone calls, no emails!

Now as I have remembered him... after such a long time, I can’t help but wonder, " Has he got back his confidence with those artificial hair? Has he got married and got settled in life? Is he happy now? Has he stopped complaining and blaming almost everything in life?"

I hope the answers are all YES. Of course he is my friend and I wish him good in life.

And I hope he has told the truth to his wife that his hair is artificial.

There are so many people in this world who suffer from a 'disturbed mental state' because they consider themselves abnormal in some way or the other. All I can say is that it is very likely that one falls short in one aspect of life... it may be appearance or communication and so on. There are other aspects which need to be explored. A man with a not so good appearance can be very good in a game of sports. He can be gifted with good brains. He can have lofty ideas, thoughts and maturity. Those aspects need to be explored!

There are gifts we get from God and on which we have no control. Why compare those with that of others.

And there are other faculties that God has gifted us, empowering us with varying degrees of control we can have on them. For example one person can persevere more than another. One can concentrate really hard while another is fickle minded.

Exploring these faculties with all our might can create the real difference. It can enrich our lives with prosperity and abundance beyond our imagination.

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