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Dipesh Majumdar

Blog and Paintings

Remembering my life, childhood, parents' sacrifice and contribution...

November 18, 2013

My FatherEvery parent aspires for his kid to be the best in competition. Every father wants to see his child shine and win. But I don't want to force that feeling in his innocent mind that there is pressure to excel. But how do I do that... somehow he will know my psyche and then feel the pressure.

My father was ideal (shown in the left photo... the Gentleman with White Moustache) - he never seemed to be moved if we fared well in exam; he remained calm and serene. However when we grew up and at some phases when he sensed that there was some signal of negligence towards studies from our sides, he would say some strong words, slowly, silently - intense and powerful, enough to rekindle the fire inside us and make us take things seriously. But those were rare occasions. I believe the best education imparted by him was his leading by example. Giving equal respect to poor and rich, being honest and forthright, being humble, soft and hardworking. Those qualities that he never lectured or demanded from us but we could see in him and that had made all the difference.

One day my friend told me - you both brothers were lucky, you just became good - somehow, and your parents - your father has no hand in that. I told him that he was responsible for all that happened. He and my mother both in different ways that they could. Nothing happens just like that... there is a cause for everything.

Everybody hails his parents isn't it. Cliched. But I can't help.

I remember that for hours together my mother would sit with books, an extraordinary quality she had... patience and discipline, which somehow I failed to inherit. She will go to morning walk everyday morning without fail... she just made it a routine and she never would miss a day. Well, almost. My brother got that to some extent. I couldn't.

Children learn by emulating their parents. Children learn whatever they see in their parents. That's why it is so difficult to bring up kids with the right lessons and education. You have to be an example to teach them, simply lip service won't do. It is as simple as that.

The simple tennets of gold that my father taught me - that you have to be honest, you have to speak the truth... you try some other method, some other theory different than this and see for yourself. It won't work.

My father's words worked... Coupled with a book I read in my childhood. Renaissance by Leo Tolstoy. It had shattered my belief that you could actually be successful and live a lavish life by being dishonest. That was the turning point in my life. A paradigm shift...

It was during the college and engineering days, I read a lot of positive mental attitude books - by Peale, Carnegie, Magic of thinking big Author, Napolean Hill and so on. Those good advices by these greats got somehow etched in my mind. I started believing that everything was possible if we could work hard. I had a different outlook ards life. It's source was my fathers lessons in the early childhood, but it was now taking shape from different sources - books, people, movies and so on.

And I could see some results in my own life as well. When I was in my engineering college, I somehow managed to fetch marks that would allow me to sit in the campus interviews. I got selected in Satyam. Software downslide wouldn't get me that job. So I slogged and worked hard to get a seat in BSNL. Working in a village and getting updates from friends in USA and Europe only dampened my soul - because I had considered myself a much better student than those guys.... what's happening to me... frustration and frustration.

Lessons that I had learnt from the positive mental attitude books of Peale and Hill again bailed me... after a series of relentless endeavours, I cracked the Oracle Interview, worked again in Oracle for 3 and a half years. Then got selected in Infosys. Struggle is still on... and I still continue to hone my skills and better my attitude towards work and life. This is just going to continue...

Go Back

Somehow buy this book and read it. It's yet another book on how to live life and become successful.
But I find it very pragmatic and sensible and has a lot of good insights.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-ebook/dp/B00COOFBA4

I already pestered you to read the book's review by some other guy I think. But, here it is again: http://sivers.org/book/HowToFail

This book can make your life even more awesome.



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